Why so workaholic?

There’s a lady in the office who is very workaholic. Even when she was in her honeymoon, she couldn’t let her mind off her newly launched brand. Even as a newlywed, she still worked until very late, unlike other newlyweds who may prefer the joy of being a new couple. Even when she was very sick, she persistenly came to the office and run meetings after meetings.

She has an extraordinary performance for sure. She is able to create something that is literally the true talk of the town marketing activity – a real definition of BUZZ to the MAX. And, I adore her, for sure. I want to be able to achieve to the extend of what she has achieved, and even better. I mean, she is one of the rising star, and she’s truly my inspiration.

But, being a workaholic. Really? I don’t think so.

She loves her job, that’s for sure. And I love my job, that’s also for sure. But, work and life balance is important to keep you sane. I believe, dwelling too much in your job would potentially blinded you from a world full of inspiration out there. At least, that’s what I was feeling a couple months ago, which led me to realize the importance of having something else to do other than my work – no matter how fun my work is.

Anyway, to find inspiration means you have to go out, watch, see, listen and experience. That’s why they call it ‘finding’, there’s an active indication in it.

And, plus, as one of our mutual friend had said to her, “Please don’t be as workaholic as I was. Life is just so beautiful to be wasted on one single activity. You don’t want to only have your work colleague surrounds you at your funeral – all with a low personal touch though extremely high professional respect.”

Agree.

HK

Strong Drive and Passion is all what matters…

Last year, I read a post in Kaskus.us about the rich Indonesian in overseas. And I found a name that was not familiar at all Sehat Sutardja. I just remembered that I was so shocked to know that there’s an Indonesian that can achieved so much and respected in such a way in the US.

He is the founder and CEO of Marvell Technology Group Limited, a company specializing in designing semi-conductors, which he built with his Shang hai-born wife, Weili Dai, and his brother, Pantas Sutardja, in 1995. The three make up Marvell’s CEO, vice president and director, respectively. Not only that he is a big CEO, he is also an inventor who held a Phd degree from a University of California Berkeley. He has 150 patent under his name and was awarded as Inventor of the Year by the Silicon Valley Intellectual Property Law Association in 2006.

He is smart indeed; and he came from a well-off family. His grandfather lived in Singapore. He went to one of the best school in the country (St. Kanisius) and his parents could afford his first year tuition fee and living cost in Iowa State University. But it was his persistence to pursue the things that mattered in his life, that he was very passionate about that lead to his success. Regardless of what people said, he just did what he was very passionate about and have a strong drive.

 

So, it’s not the family wealth of political connection (as opposed to most Indonesian rich people) that lead to his success – it’s her very strong determination and passion to be what he is right now.

 

 

I read some of his very inspiring quotes from jakartapost.com and I put it here:

“On a personal level, a strong drive to pursue what one believes in and is passionate about was critical to success”

“I only cared about something that I felt would satisfy me, even though I did not know what it would mean 10 to 20 years later after I had followed that path”

“We need to do our part. We need to use our unique skills, knowledge and capabilities to contribute to our society”

Those are his three quotes (from that article) that inspires me the most.

This guy is definitely one of my inspiration now 🙂

HK

 

Detail article from Jakarta Post can be seen at http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2011/06/16/sehat-sutardja-from-radio-boy-ceo.html

About Mr. Right: “I’ve Done Enough, I Deserve Better”

I used to not think much about marriage. When Iwas in college, I used to not wanting getting married in a young age. “At least 27 years old…,” was what I used to say. But, with everyone around is getting married one by one, I, in my 25 years of age, started to wander.

They said, “It’s better to get married while you are young. Therefore you can properly support your kids until they graduate from university.” Or, they said, “Why are you waiting so long? If you feel that you’ve found the right guy, then just go for it!” When I answered, “I’m not ready, and he’s not ready. I need to have everything settled, financially and mentally, before I proceed to the next step.” They will answered, “That’s just an excuse. It just indicates you’re not confident enough on your guy. You’re just simply not thinking that he’s the one.”

Honestly, it made me think.

I mean, how can I tell that he’s the right one? The more I think about it, the more I think I need to get a new guy. Just simply to compare, so I can know the answer. And the more I think about it, the more I found that he’s actually not the right one. I just found one flaws after another. More and more things to justify that I just have to move on to find a new guy, which will be the right one for me. More and more times to think and said to myself, “I’ve done enough; I deserve better!”

That last two sentences was the sentences I found in a blog written by Lori Lowe that I recently read (she apparently interview sort of a relationship expert, Dr. Haltzman). When I read it, it’s just so me. Hit me at the right spot.

The Doctor said that, “If we think we know a person well when we marry them, we are temporarily blinded by our love, which tends to minimize or ignore attributes that would make the relationship complicated or downright difficult. In addition, both individuals bring different expectations to the marriage, and we change individually and as a couple over time. No one gets a guarantee of marrying the right person,” says Dr. Haltzman, “so you should assume you married the wrong person.”

He added that this is caused by our culture of choice. We have so many choices in our life, for all sort of things that we do. And we tend to apply that on the way we choose our partner.

He also added that, “I’ll cut to the chase and reveal that people are happier with the choices they make when there are relatively few choices from which to choose. With too many choices, we can become overburdened and regretful and constantly question our decision. Today, individuals may feel they have many choices of mates, and fear lost opportunities with potential “right” partners. This may happen even after a person is married, as he or she questions the decision to marry with each bump in the road.”

And because we apply that, we create the belief that there is someone out there that is “better for me – I’ve done enough and I deserve better.” It makes us continuously and persistently searching for the right one, and not be the right one.

Get it? Search for instead of try be the right one.

So, I guess, when it comes to the question “Is he/she the right one?” we just have to say (and as the Doctor put it) “‘This is the person I chose, and I need to find a way to develop a sense of closeness with this person for who he or she really is and not how I fantasize them to be.’”

Or in other words, try to be the right one instead.

HK

*) Note : For full article by Lori Lowe and her articles on “Reseach-based Marriage Tips and Insight” please visit http://lifegems4marriage.com/2010/09/10/we-all-married-the-wrong-person/. All pictures show in here are found on the net, and not owned by me.